Happy New Year you lovely lot! Can you believe we are on day 6 of 2016 already? Well, where do I start? This post is going to be completely upfront and honest…… maybe a little too honest. Well hey, that is who I am, hopefully it will allow you to get to know me a bit better and be able to understand this huge journey I have just embarked on. I know this is already sounding like a generic ‘new year, new year me post’ but I promise you it is no such thing. The timing is just a happy coincidence.
So if you want to read all about my little old life, read on……. Here it is, the brutal truth, about me, from my crazy bright sofa. Over the past few years a lot has happened to me, I’ve had some extreme highs and extreme lows. Getting married, having the most amazing Hen party in Vegas and building a house with my love, being just some of the highlights. I am so lucky to have really supportive friends and family and if you’re reading this, thank you. Thank you for being there to mop up the small lakes that I have created with my waterworks, as the past number of years have been largely filled with anxiety and stress. All of which have been due to that thing, that we do all for the majority of our lives! THE DAY JOB (add du du duuuuuu if you wish).
Over the past 5 and a half years I have been a teacher and at first I loved it! I have always enjoyed helping people and get a real kick out of supporting any being to improve their lives, it sounds corny but it’s true. Seriously I’m that person that would invite every homeless person to her house for tea, cake and a hot bath if I could. That’s what I thought I was signing up for but boy oh boy, I was so far out of the ball park on that one. Don’t get me wrong, I am more than certain that I have improved many little peoples lives. Even if it is just by teaching them a wide range of songs and dances. Everyone has the right to know Saturday Night and the Macarena right?
You see, every teacher will tell you the 9am – 3:30pm is a gift, they love it, it makes them happy, they love children and this is when they get to be around them. It is the other 10 -12 hours of their working day that leaves them drained, stressed and filled with anxiety. Teachers work a crazy amount of hours, marking books, assessments, doing displays, attending meetings, the list is endless. It wasn’t that long ago that my husband and myself were up at 4am making a 3d train for my display…… he’s a keeper, and like me, must be a little bit crazy to do this, am I right? This endless list has lead to many teachers burning out and in need of a permanent holiday. Myself being one of them. I’ve spent the past few years wondering why I couldn’t keep up to the workload, why I never felt good enough and why, when it came to the holidays, I was a crazy amount of exhausted. Yes as you can see I felt pathetically sorry for myself and really it’s a wonder that I have any friends left. High five guys, you’re the best!!
Until recently, when I had a lightbulb moment, it’s not me, its them. I am bloomin’ good enough, I worked my bottom off day and night, the children in my class made outstanding progress and do you know what I was graded as outstanding too. Go me……. (does victory dance around the kitchen!) The fact of the matter is, the job is three peoples job and the workload is unmanageable. If you’re a tad on the Monica side like myself, you won’t be able to come to terms with the fact that you will never be on top of things. I like to go to sleep at night you see.
So what eventually made me decided enough is enough? Well just over a year ago I was diagnosed with type one diabetes, out of nowhere, nobody in my family has it and it is so rare to get it after the teen years. There is no evidence to support my thoughts, medical professional I am not, but I am convinced it was stress related. My body had had enough, it had packed it’s bag and was going on a well deserved break, probably to a retreat on a desert island somewhere. This was my major wake up call!
In October, I wrote that formal / scary letter and decided to hand my notice in. I was finally going to do something that made me happy and where I can be me. This was basically a job where I could wear my type of clothes and have purple hair if I wished! I have always loved to write and I live for fashion (honestly, ask anyone, I think I have a problem). I have been verbally blogging to the nation for many years. I am often asked where my clothes are from. I just can’t help myself to tell them all the details, whether they want them or not. So it seems logical right, that I spread the love on a larger platform? Voila…… Fashion blogging!All being said, I don’t regret anything. Everything happens for a reason and if I hadn’t become a teacher I wouldn’t have met two of my closest friends. If I hadn’t met those friends, I would’t get to visit them in Leeds and Milan…… I could go on Charlotte (SATC) style but I won’t.
In all seriousness it has made me so strong and so determined to do what I want to do. It has been a long old journey getting to this point and being me again. I now get to be happy, do a job that I love and spend more time with my friends and family (lucky them hey?!)
I’m just off to sing very loudly to Destiny’s Child I’m a Survivor now, but before I leave you here is a message from me to you, be brave, do something that you love, make sure you are happy, as life is far too short! Oh and if you meet a teacher, be very nice to them as they are truly incredible beings.
Well there it is, my heart on a piece of virtual piece of paper.
I’d love to hear from you, have you been through something similar?